Movies. Movies, movies, MOVIES.

I love movies, but when was the last time my butt was in seat, my feet stuck to the floor, fingers lubricated with artificial butter-flavored substance, the price of my admission equal to the GNP of some third world nations?

I'm not sure, but it might've been Lord of the Rings-TTT at the Cinerama.

Would it make you feel better to know I'm going to try to see both X2 and The Matrix this Saturday?

I've been a pretty pathetic excuse for a film fan... but fear not. Your Tart is still a devoted film junkie, especially with SIFF starting a week from tomorrow. Yeah, we Seattle types are pretty weird -- the weather starts getting decent, and we head indoors to sit in the dark..

So, I'm doing SIFF. And, since I'm cheap, I'm paying for as few films as possible by volunteering to earn flicks. This year, however, I'm using vouchers earned from last year and cutting back on the volunteer hours. I'd say it's 2/3 new pad location issues (not as convenient to the venues) and 1/3 semi-burnout, thanks to last year's volunteer coordinator being thick as a plank and horrible to work with. (Fortunately, she didn't come back. Yay current-coordinator Evelyn!)

Anyway, here's the short list of the films I expect to catch at this year's festival (assuming comps are available etc.) Two asterisks indicate I actually paid dough for this ticket (a rarity), and a dash means I'll be 'working' the movie (ushering for it). I'll do reviews afterwards.

*Bubba Ho-Tep. Bruce Campbell as an ancient Elvis in a nursing home? With Ossie Davis who thinks he's JFK? Fighting some Egyptian spirit thingy? I don't care if it's at midnight. I am THERE.

*Camp. About "a group of teenage outcasts who attend a camp for talented misfits in upstate New York over the course of one delirious summer." It hit big at Sundance. Sounds funny.

**An Evening with Ray Harryhausen. Time with The Man himself, followed by Jason and the Argonauts on the big screen. I think all skeletons should have brows, really. (GEEK ALERT! GEEK ALERT!)

-Ever Since The World Ended. The Bay Area after a plague takes the population down to fewer than 200 people. I'm a sucker for hi-brow Sci-fi.

-Garage Days. Comedy about an Aussie band struggling to make it big. I've been lucky with 'music-oriented' SIFF entries (Hype, Hedwig, 24 Hour Party People) so this seems a solid bet.

*In July. Physics teacher meets cute... but the teacher is Moritz Bleibtreu. (Hello.)

*The Last Great Wilderness. A funny creep-out about folks out of gas in the Scottish highlands.

-Moving Alan. Road movie about sisters getting a corpse from point A to B.

*Mystics. 2 fake mediums (media?) in Ireland get in trouble with the Mob. Could be cute.

*The Whale Rider. A Maori community is looking for a new leader amongst the boys - but the chief's granddaughter wants her shot, too.

Now, aren't you glad I've shared my viewing plans with you?

D'ARTAGNAN REPORT: Stable condition. Radiator replaced, due for H2O pump/belt/CV joint job in the next week. Spendy, but not anywhere near as bad as it might've been.